Note: Don’t hold me to the quotes, I am paraphrasing.

Well, my time is here. The first debate of the season. I watch with the devotion that some hold for Dancing with the Stars. I’m like a pig in… well, you get the picture. Thursday night it was the 8 Democratic candidates. And who knew there were eight? One should get his own show, one is a total kook and two were very well dressed. I wish the media didn’t anoint “front runners” so early on. I recently saw Bill Clinton speak ( sigh, so smart, after 8 years of Bush hearing him talk was Draino for the brain) and he said the same thing. That’s with his wife getting to be one of the anointed. He was saying a good case could be made for Richardson, Dodd and Biden. And after watching the debates I think he is right.

Achey, Cranky Garver, Victory Kucinich

Who had ever heard of this Garver guy? Love him, although he could wear. A cantankerous lefty who provided much appreciated comic relief with a bit of subversive politics. The person who benefited the most from the cranky old former Senator from Alaska was Dennis Kucinich (congress member from Ohio) who looked positively mainstream in comparison.

Kucinich did very well. I expected him to sound like a hippie from Berkeley and I still would have held him dear for his recent proposal to impeach Cheney (why has it taken so long?). But, he was actually very clear, intelligent and hung with the center candidates quite well. He sounded downright credible. Gotta love the only guy who did vote AGAINST the war. When Williams asked “show of hands who supports Kucinich’s bill to impeach Cheney.” Not one raised their hand. Note even the kooky dude from Alaska. ( “oh, I get a question, I’m an elder statesman and I thought I was a potted plant.” You kids stay out of my yard!) With that camera pan of hands on the podiums I could only think, “pussys”. Kucinich then got a little time to flash his constitution and make his case. I very well might send him some money for having some balls, let alone being right. I would give him the victory for the debate. He comes in with little money, name recognition or media love and knocked every question he got out of the black college ballpark. And briefly engaged in the only true moment of debate with golden boy Obama.

Snow capped sincerity

Senator Chris Dodd (senator from Connecticut) got my vote for most genuinly moving, without being schmaltzy (take note Edwards and Obama) answer for his response to supporting gay civil unions in his state. Brian Williams of NBC moderated. Williams has a rod so far up his keister I don’t know how he bends over to tie his shoes. Mr. Self important tried to rattle Dodd by asking him what was the difference between gay marriage and gay civil union. Dodd sidestepped that one and said that when he talks about this issue he says that he has two young daughters and maybe when they are older they might chose to be a different sexual orientation than his own. He thinks how would I want them to be treated? That he would want not want them discriminated against. AHHH. Accepting of his children and looking forward. Good response since who doesn’t have a gay relative? I never knew anything about the guy before apart from the state he is from and that he has snowy white hair. Now I have a clearer take away.

Isn’t nice she didn’t bake cookies?

Was bracing myself for that side of Hillary that is cringy. That side that seems phony or harsh. I think that is partly why she can leave a negative impression. Of course the other reason is because we have a bunch of misogynist in this country, women included. But, Hillary did very well. She seemed totally knowledgeable about the issues, ragged on Bush and scored with her decisive response to Williams “what would you do as President if the US had a nuclear attack…”. Obama and Edwards looked nabby, pamby in comparison. Obama “first I would make sure our emergency measures were in place…” Hmm, think you should have that about that before, president FEMA. Edwards “ make sure who really did it.” Yeah, makes sense but give the people what they want. Clinton “I would retaliate swiftly, decisively.” Yeah. She was saying loud and clear, “I may be a broad, but my finger is on the button I can push it.”

She similarly scored when health care came up. Everybody sounded like a brochure, kind of general and frankly, I couldn’t concentrate on what they said. Hillary tossed it off. She might have well have said, “Obama, I was crafting a universal health plan while you were buying a map to find the Illinois state house.” And Hillary, loved the jacket, black t and pearls. Just perfect!

Rambling Joe, Tightens it up.

And who would have thought I would have been impressed with Joe Biden ( senator, Delaware)? First off he can look odd. His hair can look odd. Someone has gotten to him. His hair looked better, colored a bit blonde I think, maybe a light spray tan, fine with that. And a lovely light blue tie which is very in this spring. In a sea of gray suits he stood out. Next to newbie’s Edwards and Obama his depth of the issues and the ease at which he discussed them was impressive. He deftly handled the “aren’t you to verbose question, can you reign it in.” He answered only. “yes”. Scoring the biggest laugh of the night. Funny is appealing.

Too much time on the phone?

Richardson, hmmm. Even thought he is a dark horse I was always kind of keen on Bill Richardson, governor of New Mexico. He started off well, been around the block. But kind of unraveled a bit towards the end. When he got a question about Castro he wanted to go 4 questions back and let us know that he too would drop a bomb on our enemies. Ah, yeah, great, cowboy, but what about that Cuba question? Maybe he doesn’t want to just be known for his diplomacy. What is with his ear? I was oddly fascinated at first, could hardly focus. It seemed large, too long perhaps. I spent the next few minutes being kind of appalled at all their ears till the camera came to rest on Hillary. Thank goodness for diamond stud earrings. I did like that Richardson admitted he was the last to say AG Gonzales had to go because he was Hispanic. And, why not? Don’t we all pull for our own? If I was mentally impaired I would support Bush. If I had anger management problems and hated humanity I would back Cheney.

Honey, we need to talk…

At one point Kucinich said “this is not American Idol.” Oh, I almost wish that it were. Except I don’t think Ryan Seacrest needs any more jobs. American Idol is watched by about 30 million people. This debate, maybe 400,000. If it was “American Idol” , I hate to say it but the first one I would vote off would be John Edwards. Yes, even before Garver, because he adds comic relief, call him Sanjaya. Now, I have always liked John Edwards. And darn it that four hundred hair cut looks good. And who doesn’t love his wife and their personal story is heartbreaking. But, as I was watching him I thought this guy could have a really successful daytime talk show. Seriously, he has a folksy Dr. Phil thing, the sweet Mr. Rogers thing. A male Oprah? She does good, right? I know he is a person of accomplishment and he has the right philosophy for a Democratic candidate, but he just doesn’t seem to have the depth of knowledge compared to others. I was getting a little uncomfortable watching him. I already have that with our present president (and uncontrolled rage). Now, if I was on the stage Thursday night not only would I have stumbled over several questions I would probably have pee running down the side of my leg from nerves. But, this people push themselves forward. I cringed when he would steer a question into one of his stump speech anecdotes. The poor family, the hard working dad. When asked about his wealth wish he had said, Hey, FDR was filthy rich and look what he did for the poor!

Beat the clock or the anchor

A fumble for moderator and answerer was Williams “who is your moral guide? And answer with one name.” Well, come on the safest thing in America they could do would be to sputter out Jesus Christ. But, whether it’s JC or a dead parent that question is a gimmie to a candidate. It’s not a short answer, it’s a dumb question. They have to be able to say, my aunt Zelda, who took my siblings and myself in as she fought TB and harvested crops and her organs. She never complained and taught us the golden rule. Blah,blah. Poor Edwards. Looked like a deer caught in the pompous NBC headlights. He said nothing for maybe 6 seconds, a long time in TV. Then mentioned his lord. As I yelled at the screen, “say your wife”. He then said Elizabeth, “the best person I’ve ever known.” Then he seemed to get in his stump speech mode, got that grin on his face and started on his father Joe. Thankfully, he was told they were out of time.

McSnooty

Of course, Snotty Williams had to chide that since that took so long he wouldn’t ask that question of anyone else. Gosh, Brian isn’t that terrible that people who are running for the highest office in our country don’t want to give you your sound bites! God, the nerve. Apparently, people seem to want a leader who has thought about the issues, is informed and makes reasoned, sound policy. But, bossy boots Brian wants blurbs. Obviously, it’s this kind of journalism that helped pave the way for the Bush administration to waltz into Iraq without serious questioning from the networks. Get Bush’s sound bite and move on. Brian’s got a show to run!

Okay, now to the matinee idol, Barack Obama. He speaks a tad to much in feel good generalities for me. The audacity of hope anyone? This is also an Edwards problem. But, just when I think Obama’s metaphorical plane doesn’t have enough fuel for lift off he gives it enough depth, enough gravitas for take off. He didn’t do badly at all. He didn’t shine though. And I couldn’t help but think at times, what you do know, kid? Except for Edwards everyone else on that stage has three times or more greater experience than he has. And bad comic attempt of the night goes to BO. When asked the question about one’s own flaws he started with, “well, I’m sure my wife would have her own list.” Wa-wa. Ah, Barack we don’t know you well enough for that. And more importantly, it’s hack.

Highlights

One of Brian “ why can’t they give me one word answers?” Williams asked was about what mistakes the candidates thought they had made, or weaknesses of theirs. Biden scored with his ( again paraphrasing) “ I underestimated how bad this administration was and overestimated what I thought my influence on them could be.” I was thinking, yeah, wondered why you went along with their program for so long. Clinton did well to sound a mea culpa for the way she handled her first go at universal health care. Richardson, was a contender saying he speaks before he thinks.

Republicans are at it next week. Can’t wait. So fun with no incumbent and they are a real rag tag bunch. Can’t wait to see how they handle running when there are virtually no coat tails from a two term president. Since it will be held at the Reagan Library, look for LOTS of references to the Giper. Just like current fashion the Republicans have to go back to the 80’s for inspiration.